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Dating Advice:
First Impressions That
Make Men Want More
If you've ever wondered about what draws a man
in to connect deeply with a woman early so he
can't help but want to see her again (for more
than just a fling) then keep reading...
I'm about to share secrets about meeting and
attracting great men that some women know but
won't tell you, or can't explain.
You're also about to hear insights into how
attraction, dating, and relationships honestly
works for men, and what to do about it.
Here we go...
Have you ever noticed that just talking to men
for the first time, getting to know each other,
and exchanging contact information can turn into
some kind of impossible puzzle or “game”?
And the more you think about it or about trying
new things, the more you just want to avoid the
whole thing?
It's frustrating and annoying, right?
Does it have to be so much work?
Can't we both just be ourselves and get past
all the tricks, games, etc.?
Well, the truth is, it doesn't have to be such
an ordeal and seem like such a game... if, and only
if, you know how attraction works for a man.
I'll repeat that.
It doesn't have to be a game IF, and only if,
you know how attraction works for HIM.
Notice that I didn't say how attraction works
for YOU.
Have you ever thought about how attraction
actually works for men, and how it could be
different than how it works for you?
Well, then let me ask you...
Do you know what makes the difference between a
man flirting and perhaps feeling some “physical
attraction” for you, and a man that becomes almost
instantly connected and attracted to you on a
deeper physical AND emotional level?
I'll give you a minute to think about the
question...
Got it yet?
Give up?
The thing is, lots of women THINK they know how
things SHOULD WORK with men, but their idea or
“strategy” just hasn't seemed to work out so well
in their long, and sometimes disappointing,
relationship history.
And the crazier part is that most women never
really change their ideas or “strategies” on how
they go about finding and creating love,
connection, and commitment in their lives with
men, even when they just aren't working.
So what's the answer to the question from above
about what makes that difference?
I'll share the answer with you in just a
minute, but first I'd like to talk about HOW
ATTRACTION WORKS around first impressions and
early on in the “casual dating” stage.
Then we'll look at the “deeper” kind of
attraction a man can feel for a woman and talk
about some specific “how-to's” that will instantly
take your love life to a more fun, resistance-free
level as you and a man get closer and closer.
CREATING A DEEPER LEVEL OF ATTRACTION AND A GREAT
IMPRESSION RIGHT FROM THE START
Have you had several relationships fall apart
in the past, the same way with different men?
And when it happened, did you start to think
that all men have a common set of problems or
“issues” that they can't see for themselves, let
alone do anything about?
Well, if you recognize this, then odds are
you've also had that fear and doubt in the back of
your mind that there was also something wrong with
YOU here, not just with him.
And, unfortunately, you also blamed yourself
for some of HIS problems and shortcomings.
Ouch! Don't go to that negative place.
The truth is that you're not alone, and the
good news is that it doesn't take months or years
of therapy to find your own understanding of how
things really work with men, and to stop being so
hard on yourself about it.
And it doesn't take months of intense schooling
or training to change your love life for the
better and get back to that open, connected,
loving place that you know is there for you with a
man.
Let's talk about how things often work in those
first encounters between men and women, and what's
going on underneath the surface here... because
first impressions are VERY IMPORTANT.
Why?
The short explanation is that men make almost
INSTANT JUDGMENTS about how they feel about a
woman right when they first meet them.
Everything that happens after a man has a first
impression of a woman logged in his mind gets
“filtered” through that impression, and it colors
almost everything he sees and feels.
So what impression are you making?
Do you know?
And what impression is the best one to make?
Let's start with the basics and look at the
situation early on when a man asks a woman for her
number.
When this happens, for a man, it generally
means one of several things:
- “I think you're interesting enough to see again
and find out if I could be attracted to you...”
(not feeling much attraction or connection yet,
but curious)
- “I had a great time talking and I'd like to do it
again sometime...” (likes the conversation and
attention, but he doesn't “feel it” yet, even
though there's a “logical” or rational connection
or bond with things in common)
- “I'm physically attracted to you, and I want to
hook up with you, but I haven't really thought
about anything else it might lead to or mean for
me...” (feeling just a physical attraction, with
no thoughts or conscious intentions beyond getting
physical)
- “I feel attracted to you, and maybe “something
more”... so I want to see you again to explore
these feelings and find out what you're really all
about...” (feeling both a physical attraction AND
a deeper connection)
Any of these look familiar in hindsight?
Well, for women who are in a place where they
want a real, loving, lasting relationship, it's
important to know what a man is thinking early on
and where he's already at from the start.
(And not finding this out is one of the biggest
mistakes that have women investing a ton of their
precious time and energy with a guy that has no
plans for having a deeper, loving, lasting
relationship)
So... it sounds pretty important actually.
Here are some quick communication tips for you
to think about and use early on with men to help
identify the good guys from the ones that don't
have a clue:
1. Don't Be Afraid To Ask Questions
So many times I hear women talk about how they
don't ever want to come off as needy, “bitchy”,
pushy, etc. with guys.
And often times, women will say something like,
“I don't want to scare him off...”
Two things are important to know here about
asking questions and finding out the “real deal”
early on:
A. Only IMMATURE men who already have fears and
resistance to commitment and relationships will
actually get “scared off” IF a woman asks
questions in a mature, playful, and conversational
way.
The upside here is that emotionally mature and
open guys will be drawn in, not pushed away.
In fact, direct questions, communicated in the
right way, are THE KEY to figuring out what kind
of guy you're dealing with - plus they provide you
with all kinds of answers about the man's real
character and mindset by his response.
But some women refuse to believe that men can
communicate on this open level because of their
experience.
I want you to go back to the sentence above
about immature men. And now I want you to notice
the “IF” there...
“IF a woman asks questions in a MATURE... way.”
It makes all the difference.
So often we get caught up in our own
perspective, or dealing with and breaking through
resistance and fear, that we don't realize how
much it affects our own subtle communication.
(Think body language, voice tone and pattern,
heart rate, etc.)
B. Context is EVERYTHING
Have you ever noticed that you can say almost
anything and have it mean almost anything, just by
changing the look on your face when you say it,
the tone of your voice, or the emotional state
you're in?
It's fascinating to watch men and women
communicate, because most of the things we learn
and identify about each other happen through
silent, indirect communication.
But sometimes you don't get the whole story,
right?
Exactly. So it's important to be able to ask
questions to find out what you need to know.
Like whether he's genuinely interested in you,
or if he's just a player looking for a quick
connection... and then he's “out.”
One great question I've heard women ask men is,
“What kind of woman do you respect?”
This not only challenges a man in a playful
way, but makes him think and will teach you a lot
by how he responds.
But remember, the CONTEXT of your communication
is the key... If you say that, and it's all about
an “agenda”, such as finding the love of your life
in your first meeting at a bar..., then I promise
it's not going to go over well.
(But you already knew that... wink wink)
On the flipside, if what you're indirectly and
silently communicating is that your questions are
about fun, learning, and most importantly -
CREATING ATTRACTION, then the man will keep
FEELING that connection to you, and respond in
kind.
2. Learn What Actually CREATES ATTRACTION For HIM
There are several key “attitudes” and mindsets
that men are naturally and magnetically drawn to
and seek out in women that they like to spend
their time with.
When men interact with a woman and they see and
FEEL these attitudes and “ways of being”, they
become instantly attracted... and often don't even
know why.
In fact, many times they can't help but want to
commit to something more serious with these women,
even if they didn't consciously want more coming
into the relationship.
Let me share with you one of the secrets of how
ATTRACTION works for men...
One of the most undeniably attractive attitudes
or qualities for men is when a woman is
UNPREDICTABLE.
I don't mean unpredictable in that she might
lose control emotionally and get irritated, upset,
frustrated, etc. with him or with anyone else
around her.
No. That would actually be a turn-OFF for most
healthy men...
The unpredictability I'm talking about is being
playful, challenging, and creating intrigue.
A great example is when a man asks, “So, what
do you do?”
Here's the boring, PREDICTABLE response that
might seem very “nice” and appropriate, but
doesn't create attraction - “I'm an accountant and
I run spreadsheets to calculate P&L.”
Or, “I do PR, and I work with so and so clients
who had me create a campaign about blah blah
blah...”
But wait... these are interesting things about
you as a person that someone should know about and
value, right?
Yes, but guess what?
Predictable responses make for great
conversation to get to know each other - if you
want to be great friends.
And yes, your career might be great and say
important things about you, but you've got to
realize that it doesn't make a man FEEL ATTRACTION
for you.
Just like it's not a man's career that makes
him attractive... it's his personality, the
chemistry you share, and WHY he does the things he
does.
Following me here?
Good.
So instead, find a way to keep him guessing...
Tell him some made up career that's ridiculous,
silly, obviously untrue, and lets him know you're
having fun with him.
(And in case you don't realize it, men will
have much more fun trying to guess and think about
what you really do, rather then just hearing it
from you right away)
For example, if you're at a bar, tell him “I'm
a social scientist doing research here to uncover
how 'beer-goggles' really work on men.”
And then you say, with a wry smile on your face
as you look at him in a playful and fake
suspicious way, “How many drinks have YOU had?”
Guess what? A guy will know exactly what you're
doing and jump into the fun with you... and he'll
probably even make up a silly joke career of his
own to kind of challenge you back and take things
up a notch.
And now you've got a fun, engaging
connection... instead of a predictable,
emotionally unengaging, and rational conversation
about your real jobs.
There's plenty of time later to get to those
things by the way and cover the predictable life
stuff. But if a man doesn't FEEL ATTRACTION from
the start, on a deep emotional level, then
everything else will be more difficult and move
slowly (if at all) with him.
Create the attraction first, and everything
else will follow.
HOW TO CREATE A DEEP EMOTIONAL CONNECTION AND
LASTING ATTRACTION WITH A MAN
So I've given you some quick tips on how
attraction works, and some basic “how-to's” to
think about for first impressions and early on.
But we've just touched the tip of the iceberg
about how men really think and feel when it comes
to dating.
This is by no means all “the goods.”
Which leads me to the question from earlier
about what makes the difference between a man that
is interested in a woman, but it probably won't go
further than some physical connection, and a man
that feels a deep emotional connection and
attraction for a woman and wants to be with her?
Well, most women learn at a relatively early
age that men can experience just a physical
attraction for a woman, and to not confuse this
with something more.
So what is that “something more” than Physical
Attraction?
In my ebook, “Catch Him & Keep Him”, I explain
in detail what that “something more” is.
It's what I call “Intellectual Attraction” and
it's that feeling a man has for a woman that will
have him court and pursue HER and lead HER into a
committed, loving relationship.
The entire first section of my ebook, “Inside
The Mind Of A Man”, will give you a clear
understanding of how men really and truly think
about women, dating, and relationships.
You'll have a fresh perspective on how to
improve your love life just by reading this
section and understanding more about what's really
going on with men.
I spell out the common places where challenges,
resistance, and confusion arises in men when
they're in relationships, and show you how to
think about it differently and be able to avoid
the resistance most other women run into again and
again with men.
I've also devoted an entire section to the
specific communication and behaviors that
naturally create a deeper, more emotional
connection with a man.
The last thing to remember is that you
shouldn't do all “the work” in a relationship just
to try and make things good with a man.
If you learn how to create a deeper connection
with a man and have him feeling more than just
physical attraction, then he'll be more open,
sharing and easy to talk to, and make things
better for you both.
So don't stay stuck in the same old patterns
and strategies that haven't completely served you
well with men.
Take the next easy step towards your new
improved love life where connection and growth
won't just come from your “hard work”, but from
the man feeling so attached and “into” you that
he'll be leading you both forward.
If you're not completely sure if the book is
really going to change your love life for the
better, then I've got good news for you...
I'll let you try my ebook out for free.
I'm so confident that it can help you, just as
it's helped the thousands of other women who email
me all the time, that I'm going to let you try it
out free for a week.
If you don't like it, just let me know and you
won't pay a thing - no questions asked. And you
can even keep the ebook.
If you like it, keep it, read it, and watch
your love life take off and become more fun and
effortless than you might have ever imagined it
would be.
So what are you waiting for?
Go get it right now:
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
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